Saturday, November 27, 2004

Coping at work?

I tried to go back to work 4 days after the funeral. I lasted a week, then asked for 2 weeks unpaid leave "just to sort my head out". The problem is that I only started this new job in July, Michael got sick at the beginning of September. I couldn't NOT be with him at the hospital, he was so sick, but so courageous. I needed to be with him 24/7. There was simply nothing more important, nowhere else I could be.

So after being in a job only six weeks, I was off for the 16 days that Michael was in hospital. Then when they sent him home, basically to die.... I was with him for that last 4 days at home too, until he died on September 27. Then the funeral was a week later... now we are into October.

I've been back at work full-time since 1st November but I just don't want to be there, I have no heart for it and no interest. I am in sales which makes it even harder. I need enthusiasm and attention to detail to get my job done and I just can't. I am just not functioning. My boss has been brilliant, he has paid me right through even though I asked them not to. They even sent a bridal bouquet to the hospital where we got married, 5 days before Michael died.

I think I am being so unfair to them, I am not performing and have only brought in one new account THIS MONTH. How can I just quit after how good they have been to me?


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